You may have noticed the tone and frequency of my posts has changed of late. I feel the need for some honesty here… I’m lacking in mojo in a really big way right now. My drive to create is non-existent, and when I actually have a small block of time to accomplish something, all I want to do is sit. And pray. And be with Him. I haven’t picked up a book or a magazine since I finished this book three weeks ago. My brain and emotions are spent. While this happens periodically, I usually have some quickie post to put up or note of inspiration to share.
This school year has been a rough one. And while I’ve experienced loads of His blessings through the Little Ones, both our director and assistant director are battling serious illness. So serious that I’ve been called outside of my classroom, outside of my comfort zone, to step into other responsibilities in addition to seeing my class through its final weeks. What’s normally a busy time anyway, has morphed into a time of unprecedented emotional and physical challenge for me.
To say I feel inadequate is an understatement.
And when all I see is this at home…
I am very nearly paralyzed and overwhelmed.
Can you relate?
Laundry barely kept up with, meal preparation that taxes me for no reason. I just want this school year to end.
And then, last Thursday, the tragic death of a friend’s teenage daughter. How much more? Though I know better than to ask.
I don’t ever camp out too long in this place — I’m a do-er, a creator, lover of life, one with a thousand balls in the air. And right now, I’m giving myself permission to drop a few for the time being.
This thought from Ruth at Living Well Spending Less resonates with me, reminding me that it’s not about me. None of it.
It is the whisper that reminds me that God always chooses the people that no one would expect, the ones who are flawed and damaged and entirely not-good-enough. He chooses the underdog not so that they will be glorified, but so that he will. He chooses the weak because he is strong. It is also the whisper that reminds me always that in the end, the only audience that matters is my audience of One Read more at http://www.livingwellspendingless.com/2014/05/16/how-to-overcome-self-doubt-2/#OpQPWcgAg81SAYAe.99
Wednesday I’ll be sharing my latest Small Space Project that ended up being a serious victory. And I’ll be in the midst of my last week with Littles, hopefully soaking in all the silliness and joy that comes with those last few days of school… picnic lunches, bingo games, ice cream parties, and extra playground time. And reminding myself that His strength is made perfect in my weakness.
Have a blessed week, friends… looking forward to brighter days full of creativity!
You are in my prayers cuz.
Needed this one. Thank you, love you.